Toxic34
Proud Member
Many of you know that throughout his career, Howard Stern rather mercilessly mocked Michael, especially in the '90s. Howard had the temerity to even talk about it, in his id-splattered-all-over-the-page manner in his second book, Miss America, back in 1995, discussing how he was in the running to interview Michael during the time it was being shopped to others before he and Lisa did their infamous sitdown with Diane Sawyer. Naturally, Howard says Diane was not unfair, but rather too nice and uncritical to Michael, doing a fluff piece, a PR job. That's just the least of it. While Howard now distances himself from this book (as well as the earlier one, Private Parts, and has mellowed out considerably from then, Howard's feelings about Michael likely have not evolved that much; he just says them more "tactfully." But here are some rather astonishing chestnuts from the text of Miss America, paraphrased as best I can.
-Repeating the lies that Michael's nose was falling off and was "caked in white makeup, making him look like Bozo the Clown," and that Michael essentially didn't know where he was, he was a zombie.
-Howard's pitch was that "no one's going to take to the streets to support Michael in America. I won't prove he's innocent, I'll simply prove he's able to withstand an honest inquisition, he can face the fire." When then-manager Sandy Gallin pointed out "Look at the response in Europe and Asia to Michael," Howard sneers and says "That's just overseas. America matters more, and no one gives a s--- about him. You're not going to have kids stormtrooping for him in the streets. This has to be the best interview of all time, it has to be live, uncut, unedited, and no editorial control, on TV. If you give it to Oprah or Barbara Walters, they'll call it 'candy cane journalism," a fluff job." He especially says "If you've been wronged, talking to someone like ME will show you're sincere. It'll show you're HUMAN." Gallin said, "No, we want to be on the radio, on your radio show." Howard basically balks at talking more, and just has many more asides in the text talking about Michael "doesn't chase girls," is too "creepy," "looks like an alien," and so on.
-Howard says Diane Sawyer "failed to ask the most basic questions," questions like "Why do kids run around unsupervised," "where are the parents," "What about the kid who sued," "Why weren't these allegations aired," "Why don't these friendships last and you dump them as soon as they hit puberty," "If you like children so much, where are the little girls," and "What's with your nose?"
-Howard says HIStory "bombed hard," and claims credit because "the questions lingered, and people wondered "Why won't he talk to Howard Stern? What's he afraid of?"
In my opinion, such an interview would not have humanized Michael, but only made him an even bigger target, and utterly humiliated him. We would've seen Michael sobbing and completely bullied, unable to even articulate much, wondering "How could you even ASK these things to me? Things I can't even say out loud in abstract?" He would've also bolted at some point, kept crying for days, and might even have decided to never give any interviews ever again. One also wonders if Michael would've ended up the way Dana Plato did the day after she appeared on Howard's show.
-Repeating the lies that Michael's nose was falling off and was "caked in white makeup, making him look like Bozo the Clown," and that Michael essentially didn't know where he was, he was a zombie.
-Howard's pitch was that "no one's going to take to the streets to support Michael in America. I won't prove he's innocent, I'll simply prove he's able to withstand an honest inquisition, he can face the fire." When then-manager Sandy Gallin pointed out "Look at the response in Europe and Asia to Michael," Howard sneers and says "That's just overseas. America matters more, and no one gives a s--- about him. You're not going to have kids stormtrooping for him in the streets. This has to be the best interview of all time, it has to be live, uncut, unedited, and no editorial control, on TV. If you give it to Oprah or Barbara Walters, they'll call it 'candy cane journalism," a fluff job." He especially says "If you've been wronged, talking to someone like ME will show you're sincere. It'll show you're HUMAN." Gallin said, "No, we want to be on the radio, on your radio show." Howard basically balks at talking more, and just has many more asides in the text talking about Michael "doesn't chase girls," is too "creepy," "looks like an alien," and so on.
-Howard says Diane Sawyer "failed to ask the most basic questions," questions like "Why do kids run around unsupervised," "where are the parents," "What about the kid who sued," "Why weren't these allegations aired," "Why don't these friendships last and you dump them as soon as they hit puberty," "If you like children so much, where are the little girls," and "What's with your nose?"
-Howard says HIStory "bombed hard," and claims credit because "the questions lingered, and people wondered "Why won't he talk to Howard Stern? What's he afraid of?"
In my opinion, such an interview would not have humanized Michael, but only made him an even bigger target, and utterly humiliated him. We would've seen Michael sobbing and completely bullied, unable to even articulate much, wondering "How could you even ASK these things to me? Things I can't even say out loud in abstract?" He would've also bolted at some point, kept crying for days, and might even have decided to never give any interviews ever again. One also wonders if Michael would've ended up the way Dana Plato did the day after she appeared on Howard's show.
